As I near the half-century mark I have begun to ponder all the things I’ve done (good and not so good) and things I’ve wanted to do. So, some people say if you write them down – they will come to pass… We’ll see…but as long as it’s still free to dream – I’ve got nothing to lose! Here they are, in no particular order…
- ride in a hot air balloon
- get in the car, alone, and just drive away somewhere for a few weeks
- swim with the dolphins
- finish my book and have it published
- see Train live in concert – they are my favorite group
- travel through Europe
- see the Northern Lights
- learn how to scuba dive
- go to Egypt
- tour the Holy Land
- tour Irish Castles
- visit the Sistine Chapel
- do something significant that will help others
- learn to play the piano
- see the great wall of China
- camp in the Grand Canyon
- practice random acts of kindness on a daily basis – to strangers
- drink wine and eat cheese and bread in a cafe in France
- to be continued…
My life seems to be separated into different segments. All very distinct and tucked away – yet intermingled and combined making the collective me the sits before you today. My medical records say that I’m a ‘complex case’, ‘interesting’. Frankly, I think it’s just that I’ve got a headache.
Things were different before “the diagnosis”. I could disappear for a couple hours, go the movies alone, go to the beach alone, a drive – it was no big deal. Now every time the damn phone rings I’ve got to answer it or the Calvary comes calling. Can’t go anywhere alone, not supposed to drive. The ‘damn phone’ (which I’ve now affectionately named it) is glued to my hip. I’ve never like talking on the phone to begin with – now I’m on the damn phone all the time. Thank heaven for texting – it’s my only solace!
Snuck out my own house this morning. Was relatively easy as no one was home! My husband is out of the country and my son was at work – don’t expect to hear from either of them for hours. No one else would call me this early, they think I’m sleeping or sleeping themselves. Got in my car and drove my bad ass self to Starbucks for coffee and a muffin. It was nice, freeing and felt normal for a change. No one knew where I was – didn’t have to report in to anyone – I was on my own. Seven-thirty in the morning…there were a few early birds there reading the paper, sipping coffee, old men trading stories and complaining about the lawn people making too much noise before God was even was up. The birds were chirping and hopping about looking for crumbs. It was peaceful and serene. Then I hear one of the old men say to his friend while pointing over at me, “Does she know she’s in our spot?” I looked up at them and smiled. They responded in like and cheerfully said Good Morning. Without missing a beat they continued their Medicare bashing conversation.
That’s when the damn phone rang. Shit!
“Hey – where are you?” my brother said.
“I’m in Jamaica smoking hash with the natives.” (Giggles erupt from the natives.)
“I’m serious, Sis. I called the house. Where are you?”
“What makes you think I’m not serious?” (at this point I got a thumbs up from one of the natives who looked like he probably smoked plenty of hash in his heyday)
“Whatever – we’re coming to see you today.”
“Listen, I don’t want any company and I don’t want to talk anymore.”
“Sis, I’m not company.”
“Uh-huh. Well, I don’t want to see anyone, I’m tired and relaxing.”
“Ok. Call me later.”
“I will. I gotta go now. The bong is heading my way. Bye”
So much for a serene calm morning. Morning has broken. Traffic is picking up, getting hotter and more humid out here. Guess it’s time to head back indoors where its cooler and safe.
The natives are getting restless. Damn phone.